Hey There
I’m Carrie-Ellise and I have lived with the facial form of BDD for 30 years.
My Mission
In this age of filters, beauty obsession, and impossible influencer-led standards, Bogey Maid exists to support those living with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, offering understanding, empathy, and solidarity. Speaking out is vital when so much silence, suffering, and misunderstanding shroud BDD. By providing an inside look into my 30 years of lived experience, sharing my stories of torment through to recovery, I hope to remove the stigma surrounding the condition.
Seven-years of good luck
Seven years ago, four layers of window-dressing shrouded me in perpetual darkness. Facing daylight demanded days of preparation, fighting through rituals as I struggled to make my face publicly acceptable. I would wash and reapply makeup until my skin burned, rendering me housebound and without groceries for yet another day.
At the height of my struggle, I wore sunglasses until friction blistered my nose and ears, their arms hooked on for dear life. Even those lesions became part of my camouflage, a temporary deformity I rationalised as diverting attention from my perceived imperfections.
I remained silent about my two-decade mirror obsession because, to me, it was nothing more than a “vanity curse,” my shameful, dirty little secret.
Today, I sit in my garden without sunglasses. I am in active recovery and you can be too.